Each Thursday, there will be a post about topics with the opinions from people who walk two very different lives. 

There’s Nick. A father and a future husband and a producer. 

Then there’s me. A single woman living life who loves to brunch. 

The topics will be random and real and sometimes NSFW. We may agree with other and sometimes we will be on opposite sides of the fence. 

With that being said, let’s get started. 
The first topic is ARE SEX AND INTIMACY THE SAME?!  

Bre says

OMG this is so weird writing this knowing my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles are reading this. I’m not sure why it’s weird because I live in Virginia. But here goes… 

Absolutely not.


You do not have to be intimate in order to have sex, just like you don’t have to be intimate to have sex. 


A dude can have sex with you while wearing his shoes and socks. That’s not intimate, at all. And if this happens regularly, then you probably should reevaluate your relationship with him. Unless you like that but I be damned if a dude wears his socks and shoes while he… Wait, I’m from Virginia.
At the same time, you can have sex butt nekkid and still not feel a lick of intimacy. 

Let’s be honest, it’s all about the connection with that person. 

Are they in tune with your needs? Do they conform their preferences to make you happy? Or are they just concerned with the end result? 

I do think sometimes this depends on gender. In this day and age, some guys are so conditioned to just having sex. Most women are emotional beings and crave a connection; so usually, they want or prefer intimacy. 

I’m not generalizing because there can be opposites of the normal for both genders. 

Just like some dudes don’t like to cuddle and usually women love to cuddle up after doing the do. Then there’s me. I’m fat. I get hot. I don’t want to cuddle after, andplusalso sometimes it’s hella awkward. I want the fan on full blast and a ice cold water. We don’t do that in Virginia anyway. 
So to answer the question, sex and intimacy aren’t the same. However, a friend told me that it can be great when you are with someone who knows the difference so sex and intimacy can occur at the same time and can also adapt to your needs. 😉


Here’s how Nick feels: 

Sex vs Intimacy…. are they one in the same? Or are they different from one another? I would have to say that they are two different things but can intertwine with one another depending on the situation. Makes no sense right? Let me explain.

Here’s the Definition of Sex: sexual activity, including specific sexual intercourse.

Here’s the Definition of Intimacy: close familiarity or friendship; closeness.
Off the definitions alone, we can CLEARLY see that the two are not the same. In society, some people will tell you that sex is a form of intimacy which I would have to disagree. 

Penis + vagina + body sweat + moans/grunts + ejaculation (From the male of course cuz women rarely nut) = Sex to me. 

Seems so blunt right? That’s because it is. Sex, more than anything, is simply a form of reproduction and also a stamp on a newly wedded couple’s union with God. 
Intimacy deals with pure interaction. 

That’s why a lot of womenz like to be up under their man during the cold or rainy nights. Having a shoulder to lean/cry on when times are rough. Massaging your mate after a long day of work. Really and truly trying to connect with your mates soul and spirit to where you feel like the both of you are one. That’s intimacy to me!!! 

When I say the two can intertwine with one another, is more so when the male or female choose to do a lil sumn sumn extra in the bedroom. Having rose pedals sprinkled all over the bed and walking her in blind folded to candles burning and some slow jams playing with her favorite wine and a side of grapes to feed them. 

Telling her to lay down naked as you get some warm oil and rub her down from the back of her kitchen to the bottom of her feet. Letting her feel your touch all over her body so on and so forth. Y’all get the picture. 

I’m sure y’all felt that while reading it so you can say you just got a lil intimate with me 😉 lol ….. #NoHomo for the fellas but feel free to use my words if ya woman hits you with that, “We haven’t been intimate with one another.” 

Now that you’ve heard both sides… Let’s discuss in the comments!
Follow Nick on social media: 

Snapchat – Nick_Fields1911

IG and Twitter – @TheNickFields04

Follow me on social media

FB – http://www.facebook.com/LetsBreHonest 

IG – lets.bre.honest 

Twitter – lets_bre_honest

Snapchat – yesimbree 

6 thoughts on “#DoubleStandardThursdays

  1. This is good stuff! As a married woman, I can attest to the fact that sometimes you can get caught up in just going through the motions after life happens, finances, kids, jobs and whatnot distract you from your significant other and before you know it, the intimacy is gone. You gotta be willing to do the work it takes to go the extra mile (for ex: rose pedals, the oil, the back rubs) to keep the intimacy alive. Both the man and the woman need that part for the relationship to flourish.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t believe you have to be intimate to have sex! although it would be nice, let’s face it, in this day and age, people are just doing the do just to get their rocks off and it’s “so what you bout to do”! I live in Virginia too so I don’t know much about any of this 🌚

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Girl you silly I just realize what you mean by Virginia!! In my head when I was reading the article I was like this girl don’t stay in no damn Virginia!! But I get it mom and dad reads the blog 👌🏾 Lol!! Anyway sex and intimacy are not one in the same!! I think a lot of women get the two confused all of the time. Thinking sex is going to keep a man!! Most men can have sex with various partners and not feel a ounce of intimacy with these women! It’s us women who get in our feelings! Now don’t get me wrong I have (I mean some women lol) mastered this sex and intimacy thang!!! Can put that intimacy shit to the side in a heart beat!! Who got time for that lol. Anyway intimacy is great when both are doing their parts and the connection is off the chain because when that connection is there…..🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 sex is great!!

    Liked by 1 person

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