Before I give my recap, let me just say – awards shows need to be like ghetto raffles and have a “Must Be Present to Win” policy. It’s annoying when presenters have to accept awards on behalf of the winners because they couldn’t be there. If the winner can’t be present, whoever won second place needs to win.
Here are a few of my top moments from last night’s award show. I’ve categorized them by person, not necessarily in order of the show.
Rihanna: To say she won the Michael Jackson Vanguard Award, her performances lacked the innovation that MJ displayed. I was not impressed.
I love Riri, but I was not wowed with her performances. Maybe it was because she had 4 performances and she had to focus on too much. I think it could have been better if it was just one long performance? Maybe, we’ll never know. She did redeem herself with her last performance though.
Kanye West: Why does MTV continue to let this man do what he wants? When it was announced that he was being given 4 minutes to do what he wants, I immediately thought – OMG PLEASE DON’T EMBARRASS US!
I’m pretty sure he did not have a speech prepared and it showed. He just got up and started talking… There were plenty moments of awkward silence. And is it just me or is he too concerned with his exes and his wife’s exes? Maybe it’s the stubborn Taurus trait in me, but I am not that concerned with the lives of my exes. He’s always bringing up Amber Rose & Ray-J.
But back to Kanye, he didn’t do too much damage. He ran off at the mouth talking about his mentors and proclaiming himself as his own mentor just to introduce us to his new video starring Teyana Taylor. I think most of the time, he is just misunderstood. I wish he had an interpreter. I miss College Dropout/Graduation Kanye.
Teyana Taylor: Who the hell is her trainer? Y’all know how I feel about Gofundme’s but if I set one up for her trainer to train my fat ass – would y’all donate? Every little bit helps. That video was amazing. I wasn’t even listening to the words of the song. I was too focused on her abs and ass.
She is the EPITOME of body goals and the QUEEN of baby snap back. Hell I don’t even have no kids and I don’t look like that. We all need to be eating lettuce, rice cakes and drinking ice soup to get a body like that.
Did y’all catch when she hit the crybaby? Brought us all the way back to 1997.
Kim Kardashian: Ugh. She is so boring and her voice… She only had 3 lines. I wonder what she and Kanye converse, I mean besides how awesome he is. She is the perfect hype man for him.
Alicia Keys: Let me just say, I am here for this “no-makeup” campaign, because she is beautiful without it. Because let’s be honest, some of y’all faces that you proclaim are “beat” are definitely NOT.
However, wearing no makeup does not mean to look like you rolled out of bed. Put on some moisturizer. Just like being natural does not mean you stop combing your hair, but that’s another blog. You can not wear makeup and still look put together; I do it every day at work.
I was also confused by her poem and song. Can someone please tell her that she’s not a soprano? I don’t think she realizes that ever since she took that woman’s husband – God took her voice. I think she is finally coming to that realization because just as she was about to go to a higher octave, she cut it short and said, “Thank you.”
Nicki Minaj and Ariana Grande: Nicki Minaj looks sooooooooooooo much better now than when she wore the loud colors and pink and blonde wigs. I’m here for it. Their performance featured Ariana’s signature ponytail and lots eye candy. Ariana Grande can sing her lil ass off! When she first came out, I thought it was Mariah Carey.
Britney Spears: Her performance left much to be desired. I know rarely anyone sings live anymore but I mean at least try and sing along with the track. She should have performed songs from her first two albums. It would have been like I was in 2nd grade again.
Drake: Poor Aubrey. I feel so sorry for him now. Trust me, I’ve been there before – liking someone and not having it reciprocated. I mean dude has completely professed his love for Rihanna and she dodged his kiss….on live national television. I thought he had a ring in his pocket and was about to propose.
Nothing is wrong with him saying how he loved her for years and looks up to her but for it to be shot down like that is just embarrassing. This is when #ShootYourShot goes wrong, completely wrong. He was ‘in traffic’ and did not walk the carpet and even missed accepting his own award all to surprise a woman who dodged his kiss.
He did all that for a cheek kiss. Drake gave all of the men who were, are, or will be in the Friend Zone absolutely no hope.
Comedians: Usually Key & Peele are funny to me. Key was the comedian with the funny back-to-school skit messing up the less urban names like Blake and Aaron. I’m not sure what happened last night. They were not funny and it was forced. I don’t like forced funny.
Jimmy Fallon spoofing Ryan Lochte! YES!!! HERE FOR IT!!! I’m glad somebody white addressed this issue and did not justify the ‘kid’ and his ‘embellishments.’
Beyoncé: YYYYAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! Her entire performance gave me life! I was hoping she didn’t perform Freedom again. I mean, we done seen it at two awards shows already. So when she appeared on stage singing, “You can taste the dishonesty…..” – I immediately thought, “OMG what if she performs the entire album.” Then the beat dropped for Hold Up (They don’t love you like I love you).
I went to the Formation World Tour in May and I felt like my living room was the arena. I was dancing and doing all of the dance moves, all out of breff. I’m pretty sure my neighbor thought there was a minor earthquake, all the dancing I was doing. I literally could write an entire post about this performance but I will spare everyone. Just know that it was GREATNESS.
MTV, next y’all need a big girl who’s funny to host a pre-show – holla at me! My booking information is in my bio!
And if I missed your favorite moment, comment below and let’s talk about it! I live tweeted, so be sure to follow me and read those; my handle is @lets_bre_honest.
Click here to see the list of winners.